Coming to you live from sunny SoCal, these words are tinged slightly with nostalgia, motivation, raindrops, jetlag, hot tea, cool nights, reflection, longing, decisiveness, and indecision.
After quite the long trek across many seas, one ocean, and three continents (via one train ride and three flights), I find myself writing to all of you from the living room of my maternal home, sitting on a couch struggling to revel in solitude while all i am able to honestly manage is jostled. Every item, every room, every street, every vista in my current proximity is imbued with teeming memories, each flush against the next, slightly overlapped, individual moments reflecting from different pairs of my own eyes. It's so interesting to come back after such a long time, especially interesting after seeing something new everyday for so many day, for suddenly seeing so many familiar things is making me feel...claustrophobic? No, that's not quite right. I'm feeling the presence of myself quite acutely, tangibly- more acutely than i have in quite a while. The presence, that is, of the selves of many yesterdays. The presence of my past persons is palpable in the memories of the spaces around me. My couch remembers, the driveway remembers, the tangerine tree, the street signs, the clear air on the mountains at 6 after rain knows a me from each day of the last 15 years. Sitting or standing, walking down paths well worn by my own feet, I can't help but feel like a flip-book jessie, one single in a sequence forming a complete picture only when viewed in context and in motion.
This is the mindset that I'm coming to you from.
Surveying my audience from this mood, what can i possibly share with you? What kinds of reflections on India are possible at this juncture?
For an overview and in the neighborhood of brevity, India was a country to be reckoned with, an experience that lingers like 3am on my hands. Multitudinous experiences touching such a variety of nerves that eventually a system re-set of perceptions, emotions, and reactions was achieved. I shall not forget the role of China, who had a heavy hand in this as well- it's accurate to say that the process of re-assemblage completed by India was only possible after the disassembly artfully undertaken by China. Disassembly is a slow and painful process, the strip down of desires, impulses, and duality related attachments/concepts done more by force than choice; reassembly, on the other hand, was comparatively pleasant while equally momentous.
Today I am talking entirely about inner processes initiated and pushed to fruitation mostly by (what appeared at the time to be) outer forces. I better understand the myriad of ways people build up the experience of india; the skepticism and confusion previously admitted to have been, at least in some ways, relieved and sated. I leave you at this time with the previously revealed reflections, to return to you on a later date with more concrete relations of events and occurences, more clearly defined perceptions, more sensically wrought musings.
Sweet dreams.
love&light
jess
Showing posts with label festivals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label festivals. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Just a moment.
The date of today is January 5, though by the time I finish writing and post this the number will have turned to 6. A fast has been finished, a Vipassana session cancelled; a massage course completed, a new yoga undertaken.
Today has been a revelry of a day, but I’m currently at a loss for any earth shattering expositories or heartrending revelations. The mist has been sitting low on the foothills with what we in LA would refer to as ‘intermittent drizzle’ drifting in and out of focus. I’m currently sitting in my spacious lower floor hotel room, watching the candle light flicker off the peeling light blue paint- the walls have acquired the splotched melancholic beauty that only years of cheap paint and water damage poured in equal amounts over cold concrete can lend. It is, in each moment that passes, quintessential Northern India.
So as I sit here in the damp chill, said candlelight aflicker, I’m rather unmotivated to rouse my inner faculties and deliver a rousing story. I’ve had a day of quiet reflection, replete with meditation, and am as such feeling rather calm and quiet. I’d hoped you’d walk over the unfinished construction site outside my balcony, hop the little fence and rap at my bolted door, but alas. You’re a bit far for those kind of antics, aren’t you? I’ll be enjoying this candlelight alone, just me and my yoga, me and my tea, me and my small stone Buddha.
[If I could paint you a picture, I would. What I would paint, I do not know, and what insight the 1,000 words captured in said picture would grant, I cannot guarantee. I can’t guarantee that 1,000 words would be enough- in matters such as this you’re often left with two options; a tome of a treatise, or the subtle communication of bittersweet silence.]
This is the way that India makes me feel.
(It makes me feel.)
Today has been a revelry of a day, but I’m currently at a loss for any earth shattering expositories or heartrending revelations. The mist has been sitting low on the foothills with what we in LA would refer to as ‘intermittent drizzle’ drifting in and out of focus. I’m currently sitting in my spacious lower floor hotel room, watching the candle light flicker off the peeling light blue paint- the walls have acquired the splotched melancholic beauty that only years of cheap paint and water damage poured in equal amounts over cold concrete can lend. It is, in each moment that passes, quintessential Northern India.
So as I sit here in the damp chill, said candlelight aflicker, I’m rather unmotivated to rouse my inner faculties and deliver a rousing story. I’ve had a day of quiet reflection, replete with meditation, and am as such feeling rather calm and quiet. I’d hoped you’d walk over the unfinished construction site outside my balcony, hop the little fence and rap at my bolted door, but alas. You’re a bit far for those kind of antics, aren’t you? I’ll be enjoying this candlelight alone, just me and my yoga, me and my tea, me and my small stone Buddha.
[If I could paint you a picture, I would. What I would paint, I do not know, and what insight the 1,000 words captured in said picture would grant, I cannot guarantee. I can’t guarantee that 1,000 words would be enough- in matters such as this you’re often left with two options; a tome of a treatise, or the subtle communication of bittersweet silence.]
This is the way that India makes me feel.
(It makes me feel.)
Monday, February 2, 2009
lovely day
So I'm sitting again in the business center of this hotel, staring out the curtains at the dreary sky and writing a small love note to all you out there in readerland.
the weather, beauteous though it may be, is apparently not condusive for shooting a movie. the fog won't lift off the mountains and the droplets won't stay in the clouds. i mean, i love it, but the film crew is less thrilled. i'm still trying to book my flight to hong kong, which is proving to be difficult. we're in a rather secluded area in southern china and apparently the only two airports with international flights are equidistant from our current location- about a three hour drive. and, with the rain, no one is sure if we're going to stay and wait it out or opt to move to the next location (a beach!) and then return here in a week or so to wrap up. so i don't know where we'll be and which airport to fly out of. but enough of my griping, cause i'm sure i'll figure it out. or, i might get kicked out of country and banned from returning for overstaying my visa. those are both options.
what else? like i said, when i get to hong kong i'll send out a few more emails and replies- with 12-18 hour days it's a little hard to drag myself to the business center to sit in front of the monitor. lately it's sleep vs. send emails, run vs. send emails, or buy fruit vs. send emails. i think you guys can all guess what wins out in most of those battles. and if you cant, you can use your collective inboxs as a clue.
unless youre my mom. she still gets emails. right mom? right.
anywho, its beautiful outside, so im going to go frolic next to the lake in the fog. fog fog. i love fog. mist! mist is better. this is mist, not fog. mmm, mist.
love
jessie
the weather, beauteous though it may be, is apparently not condusive for shooting a movie. the fog won't lift off the mountains and the droplets won't stay in the clouds. i mean, i love it, but the film crew is less thrilled. i'm still trying to book my flight to hong kong, which is proving to be difficult. we're in a rather secluded area in southern china and apparently the only two airports with international flights are equidistant from our current location- about a three hour drive. and, with the rain, no one is sure if we're going to stay and wait it out or opt to move to the next location (a beach!) and then return here in a week or so to wrap up. so i don't know where we'll be and which airport to fly out of. but enough of my griping, cause i'm sure i'll figure it out. or, i might get kicked out of country and banned from returning for overstaying my visa. those are both options.
what else? like i said, when i get to hong kong i'll send out a few more emails and replies- with 12-18 hour days it's a little hard to drag myself to the business center to sit in front of the monitor. lately it's sleep vs. send emails, run vs. send emails, or buy fruit vs. send emails. i think you guys can all guess what wins out in most of those battles. and if you cant, you can use your collective inboxs as a clue.
unless youre my mom. she still gets emails. right mom? right.
anywho, its beautiful outside, so im going to go frolic next to the lake in the fog. fog fog. i love fog. mist! mist is better. this is mist, not fog. mmm, mist.
love
jessie
Friday, January 9, 2009
A little Me for some of You
I don’t usually do lists and questionnaires, but this one is more of an exercise. An exercise, at that, that I think everyone should take a little time and do. It’s taken from The Televisionary Oracle by Rob Breszny, a book that I also think everyone should read. Please? I put it up here not cause I think you care, but cause I hope you’ll do it too.
"Now it's time, beauty and truth fans, to test how receptive you are to further immersion in the Drivetime.Please answer as many of the following questions as you can. Work with ferocious intensity and/or gentle reflection. Don't push on till you're exhausted, but try to come as close to total combustion as you can.Be innocently truthful and spontaneously thoughtful, or else gratuitously sarcastic and recklessly flippant. If you find yourself responding with ideas that you used to believe but don't any more, abandon them and start over.Take advantage of this rare opportunity to be creative and authentic for no reason. Don't save yourself for "something better.""
1. What did you dream last night?I dreamt that…that I was in love with an astronaut that I was also acquaintances with, who was alive simultaneously in the 70s and the present. He helped me to hijack a shuttle and wait to send it into outer space for about half a month, so that we could expose the heresies of those in control. But I think in the end it turned out he had a lady.
2. What image or symbol represents the absolute of your desires?I’m not sure I believe in an absolute of my desires. Plus, if I did and if it had a symbol, it would be far too easy to lose.
3. In what ways has your fate been affected by invisible forces you don't understand or are barely aware of?My fate is always affected by those invisible forces. For instance, me right now sitting in this hotel room in southern china working as I do and living like I do…who knows what exactly it was that made me buy that plane ticket that Sunday in Hawaii? Something hit me, and I did it. Why did I apply to that specific ad on the Beijinger that put me in contact with the woman who happened to know about this job? Everyday I live is affected by those forces. Take today for example- I ate an unusually starchy breakfast and as a result didn’t get carsick on the drive I didn’t know we’d take into the mountains. I call that the influence of inexplicable forces. I love those forces, and I hope to sync with them in more and more luscious ways.
4. Tell a good lie.Good? I am a fire breathing snake monster of the deep come to exorcise you and me of all the insecurity that holds us back from being vigorously alive, every millisecond.
5. What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive?Living with my best friend, running around in her beat up car blasting fat beats, scaring ducks all day and dancing all night.
6. Are you a good listener? If so, describe how you listen. If not, explain why not.I am a good listener- I listen sensitively, compassionately, and also rationally. I’m going to tell you precisely what I think when you’re done talking, except I won’t judge you while I do it. I realize that inside your story, there is a lesson- one for you, and one for me.
7. Compose an exciting prayer in which you ask for something you're not supposed to. I’m not supposed to ask again to go back to Beijing, but I want to! Please please please boss woman who pays me make the decision to take me back to Beijing before the 5th so I can see Sophie and treat her to dinner.
8. What's the difference between right and wrong?There isn’t one, there is only a difference in perspective.
9. Name something you've done to undo, subvert, or neutralize the Battle of the Sexes.I live everyday not as a woman, not as a man, but as myself. I reject the idea that any person needs to act anyway because they happen to have one kind of reproductive part or another in their pants. And I fall in love with people, not with characteristics, tendencies, or habits. I strive to be beautiful because I’m true, not because I’m good at disguising my faults with accessories. And I love the faults I find in others, passionately and without limit.
10. Have you ever witnessed a child being born? If so, describe how it changed you.I witnessed myself being born, does that count? I haven’t been able to pull up the memories yet though, so I can’t describe it to you at the moment.
11. Compose a beautiful blasphemy that makes you feel like crying.I’m going to take this opportunity to exercise my right to not feel like doing something, and instead peel an orange.
12. What do you do to make people like you?I used to flirt with everyone, but I’m trying to move away from that. Now I listen to people and try to think of everyone I encounter as my brother or my sister.
13. If you're not familiar with the Jungian concept of the "shadow," find out about it. If you are, good. In either case, give a description of the nature of your personal shadow.The nature of my shadow is confused and indecisive. She relies too heavily on others, and can make no decisions of her own. She only creates after regurgitating other’s work.
14. Talk about three of your most interesting personalities. Give each one a name and a power animal.A. Dolores- Dolores loves running up hills. She loves being playful and skipping down the street on every other stone- the way you did when you were a kid. Her power animal is an otter. She likes to mismatch striped patterns.Gretchen- Gretchen is a power lesbian, androgynous though leaning towards the feminine. Her power animal is a great, hulking black bear who also pirouettes through the woods like a prima ballerina.Hilda- Hilda is a witch who lives in the forest, knows exactly what is wrong with you but doesn’t really care. If you go and ask really nicely Hilda’ll put on an act to scare you and then give you exactly the herbs you need to be cured. All of Hilda’s herbs are a mixture of potent forest plants and reverse psychology. Hilda’s power animal is a tyrannosaurus rex, and Hilda prefers to be referred to as a male. The last lover to know for sure if Hilda has male bits or female bits flew away on the wind a century ago, so no one today is really knows.
15. Make up a dream in which you lose control and thereby attract a crowd of worshipers.I’m in China, on the set we’re currently shooting at. Far away into the mountains, an hours drive out of the city, next to a clear and bustling stream. One day, on set, I do precisely what it is I’ve been yearning to do for the past weeks. I shed all of my clothes and dive into the river naked, luxuriating in the icy cold purification. People on set are at first controlled by their conditioning, and horrified…then they come around and set about shedding their insecurities and hopping into the water. I never have to spend another day on set standing around, but am allowed to explore to my hearts content so long as I return at meal time.
16. Name your greatest unnecessary taboo and how you would violate it if it didn't hurt anyone.I’d be naked more of the time. If no one was plunged into inner turmoil because they’ve been conditioned by society to sexualize the body, I’d be naked around pretty much everyone I know. Unfortunately, people these days think that nakedness = some form of sexual attraction or implication, so I can’t do it around everyone with out stirring up trouble. As of right now, only my best friend, lovers, and mother are so lucky as to have a completely comfortable Jessie in their presence.
17. Give an example of how smart you are in the way you love. How smart I am doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m particularly smart, right? Cause I need to start this off by mentioning that I don’t find myself overly intelligent in that area. But I am passionate- I guess I’ll chalk that up to smartness. I’m smart enough to (most of the time) not let trivializations get in the way of how passionate I feel for anyone, even myself. And I don’t play games.
18. What ignorance do you deserve to be forgiven for? None! I’ll own all of them and their consequences. On the other hand- All. How can I be held accountable for something I didn’t know?
19. What was the pain that healed you the most?I would have to say the pain that came right before I came to China the first time…It made me face all the other pains, which were more epic in scale than that one. It spiraled me into myself and made me realize that above all, the only one that hurts me is me.
20. Make a prediction about yourself.I’m coming into myself and will not give up on any project until I’ve learned everything I need to learn or until it becomes counter productive to continue with it. I’ll learn how to say “I” so strongly that I can truly be the “I that Loves to Say I Love You”, and I’ll stop trying to get others to make my decisions for me.
***EXTRA CREDIT***In the ancient Greek epic, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe. In a famous scene, Circe uses magic to turn the men into pigs. Later, though, in an episode that's often underemphasized by casual readers, she changes them back into men--only they're stronger, braver, and more beautiful than before they were pigs. Tell an analogous story from your own life
Friday, January 2, 2009
Brave New World
I've had little access to the intertubes lately, and as such the silence that you've all been witness to has ensued in blog land. Even though I've had no way to post, I've been in a particularly creative mood. A lot of the writing i do goes into various journals and documents that are never seen by anyone but myself. I have a lot of things to say, but a lot of them only really need saying to myself. I'm going to crack open a few of these documents and share here, and I'm also going to breach some topics that do not usually grace this blog. This slew of postings is the accumulated fodder from the past week or so, from a variety of my outlets.
On my days off, I like to go on long walks, I like to write, and I like to eat only fruit. On days that i do work, I work long hours and wrap up the day with only enough productive energy for personal reflection. Today I had the day off, and I took the opportunity to pull together a few things that I’ve been ruminating on the past week or so. It is thusly that you find the rash of postings below. I’m starting it all with this little disclaimer because I know that I do not usually talk about my veganism (even though it is right up there in the address to my blog). I have been writing this blog mostly about my travels in China and my feelings/reactions to what I see here. That is going to start altering. I am vegan, I am proud, and I am going to start letting the combination of these two things color more of my interactions with the world. If one person reads this and is interested in these things even the smallest way, that’s enough for me. In addition to my veganism, my liberal socialist queer change-worshiping philosophies might make an appearance or two. Lovely.
Onward ho, I suppose.
On my days off, I like to go on long walks, I like to write, and I like to eat only fruit. On days that i do work, I work long hours and wrap up the day with only enough productive energy for personal reflection. Today I had the day off, and I took the opportunity to pull together a few things that I’ve been ruminating on the past week or so. It is thusly that you find the rash of postings below. I’m starting it all with this little disclaimer because I know that I do not usually talk about my veganism (even though it is right up there in the address to my blog). I have been writing this blog mostly about my travels in China and my feelings/reactions to what I see here. That is going to start altering. I am vegan, I am proud, and I am going to start letting the combination of these two things color more of my interactions with the world. If one person reads this and is interested in these things even the smallest way, that’s enough for me. In addition to my veganism, my liberal socialist queer change-worshiping philosophies might make an appearance or two. Lovely.
Onward ho, I suppose.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Oh yes.
It is Christmas time in the Jing, complete with a decking of the halls and more than a few jingling bells. Ironic, isnt it, that the most 'traditional' Christmas I'll be having will be in the capital of a Communist country?
The bite of winter wind and settling of snow somehow makes all of the carols more palatable for me. These things, these trappings of festive-ness, were difficult for me to handle growing up in Los Angeles...a city even farther removed from the homeland of these traditions than early colonies like Plymouth or New York. At least in New York the felling of pine trees and songs about 'dashing through the snow' are pertinent- in Los Angeles they seem down right silly. Forget all of the other issues i have with Christmas (Christmas being a commercialized Christian holiday- and commercialization and Christianity being two of the things i agree with the least), but celebrating reindeer and snowmen in a desert climate has always been despicable to me. I mean...couldn't the holiday have been tweaked to at least fit the local community celebrating it? Yea, I know, i've heard of the whole palm tree in place of a pine tree thing, but who really does that? I can understand that people living all over the nation want to celebrate the holiday, but I think that if we look to the deeper meaning of the season it becomes apparent that we don't need the exact same decorations and songs everywhere. What is being celebrated is the birth of a savior, not a fat old guy in a fur trimmed suit or the first snow of the season. I mean, moving Christmas back and into winter was originally done to sync it up to Winter Solstice, no? As a way to make it more palatable to pagans? I mean, I feel like we could have at least kept up with the theme of adapting the holiday to suit it's new celebrants- right? Or is that just too hopeful?
Anyway, it is thus that i find myself tolerating rather than despising the Merry Christmas signs and songs that bedeck Beijing at this time of year- at least songs about snow and sleds are relevant in Northern China. That is until I remember that I'm in China, and this is a Christian holiday, and all the Santas are Caucasian, and the only reason Christmas exists here is as a consumerism extravaganza. Then I cry a little on the inside.
And on that note, I'm going to get going. I have to fly down to sunny, warm Southern China in a few hours and there are some Buddhist confection shops that need hitting up for inflight snacks. I'll be in Guangxi for a few days, the southern province that borders Canton, Hunan, and Vietnam. It's purported to be mountainous and beautiful, full of wild expanses and ancient culture. Hopefully, hopefully hopefully i won't be stuck in a city the whole but will have the nature break that i so desperately need. Then again with a projected temperature of 72 degrees farenheit, I'll be happy to just stand in the street. I'll give you the scoop and let you guys know how it is once I'm home.
love&luz
Jessie
The bite of winter wind and settling of snow somehow makes all of the carols more palatable for me. These things, these trappings of festive-ness, were difficult for me to handle growing up in Los Angeles...a city even farther removed from the homeland of these traditions than early colonies like Plymouth or New York. At least in New York the felling of pine trees and songs about 'dashing through the snow' are pertinent- in Los Angeles they seem down right silly. Forget all of the other issues i have with Christmas (Christmas being a commercialized Christian holiday- and commercialization and Christianity being two of the things i agree with the least), but celebrating reindeer and snowmen in a desert climate has always been despicable to me. I mean...couldn't the holiday have been tweaked to at least fit the local community celebrating it? Yea, I know, i've heard of the whole palm tree in place of a pine tree thing, but who really does that? I can understand that people living all over the nation want to celebrate the holiday, but I think that if we look to the deeper meaning of the season it becomes apparent that we don't need the exact same decorations and songs everywhere. What is being celebrated is the birth of a savior, not a fat old guy in a fur trimmed suit or the first snow of the season. I mean, moving Christmas back and into winter was originally done to sync it up to Winter Solstice, no? As a way to make it more palatable to pagans? I mean, I feel like we could have at least kept up with the theme of adapting the holiday to suit it's new celebrants- right? Or is that just too hopeful?
Anyway, it is thus that i find myself tolerating rather than despising the Merry Christmas signs and songs that bedeck Beijing at this time of year- at least songs about snow and sleds are relevant in Northern China. That is until I remember that I'm in China, and this is a Christian holiday, and all the Santas are Caucasian, and the only reason Christmas exists here is as a consumerism extravaganza. Then I cry a little on the inside.
And on that note, I'm going to get going. I have to fly down to sunny, warm Southern China in a few hours and there are some Buddhist confection shops that need hitting up for inflight snacks. I'll be in Guangxi for a few days, the southern province that borders Canton, Hunan, and Vietnam. It's purported to be mountainous and beautiful, full of wild expanses and ancient culture. Hopefully, hopefully hopefully i won't be stuck in a city the whole but will have the nature break that i so desperately need. Then again with a projected temperature of 72 degrees farenheit, I'll be happy to just stand in the street. I'll give you the scoop and let you guys know how it is once I'm home.
love&luz
Jessie
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Mrrr.
I'm listening right now to a few tracks off the new John Legend CD. How thatll affect the tone of the post, I dont know. If, in the middle of reading this, you feel the urge to push away all the worries of the day and admit that you love me, and only me, will love me for the rest of our lives and want to spend everynight slow dancing in the middle of our apartment in candlelight, chalk it up to John and not to my writing skills. And put the roses away, I'm not into that romantic stuff.
If, on the contrary, you feel the urge to make banana pancakes and pretend like it's the weekend now (we could pretend it all the time!), I'm down for that. Cause, we all know things fall apart and tend to shatter, but I'm like that shit dont matter.
Ok, enough of this tomfoolery. No more song quotes. I'm not perfect, but I'm this that and this.
So Beijing is a beautiful city. Beautiful in the way that everything is beautiful, so long as you push yourself to see it. I'm becoming masterful at this. I thought that i was before, but 'before' i lived in Hawaii...not hard to see beauty in everything you see there. Beijing in the winter when you miss your family, miss not freezing, miss sunsets and sunrises and clear skies and clean air and beach runs with your friends...this can test even the most seasoned beauty seeker. It can seem a little, *gasp*, bleak. Luckily there are things that like hot sweet potatoes roasted fresh and whole over burning coals in little concrete drums on wagons in the streets. There are similarly roasted chestnuts in shops set up against the dower buildings, warm sweet finger thawing. There are fresh mandarin oranges in the mornings, peeled under a warm comforter in a cozy room, hiding from the hazy sunny gnawing frost. There are the dolled up girls, prancing in high heels short skirts thick leggings and fat fat waist length winter coats. They spit in the streets, the subways, and they make me stare when they walk past. Me in my knit hat, thick scarf, and long baggy dark blue coat. I make no one stare, save for the color of my skin and texture of my hair.
There is a crescent moon, pale orange through the haze, gracing the sky tonight. I look at it and i remember all the places i've looked at it before. LA streets lined up in the cold, Frisco pavement on the way home, Oahu park with a blanket and a bottle, Big Island beaches chilly and desolate. So beautiful, all. When I add to that list my current dark beijing hutong, icy dark and bustling, nothing seems quite so bad.
Tally for today:
2 kaui 3 mao for a bag of 6 mandarin oranges.
I think that puts me at 95.6 kuai spent so far.
Not bad.
love&luz
If, on the contrary, you feel the urge to make banana pancakes and pretend like it's the weekend now (we could pretend it all the time!), I'm down for that. Cause, we all know things fall apart and tend to shatter, but I'm like that shit dont matter.
Ok, enough of this tomfoolery. No more song quotes. I'm not perfect, but I'm this that and this.
So Beijing is a beautiful city. Beautiful in the way that everything is beautiful, so long as you push yourself to see it. I'm becoming masterful at this. I thought that i was before, but 'before' i lived in Hawaii...not hard to see beauty in everything you see there. Beijing in the winter when you miss your family, miss not freezing, miss sunsets and sunrises and clear skies and clean air and beach runs with your friends...this can test even the most seasoned beauty seeker. It can seem a little, *gasp*, bleak. Luckily there are things that like hot sweet potatoes roasted fresh and whole over burning coals in little concrete drums on wagons in the streets. There are similarly roasted chestnuts in shops set up against the dower buildings, warm sweet finger thawing. There are fresh mandarin oranges in the mornings, peeled under a warm comforter in a cozy room, hiding from the hazy sunny gnawing frost. There are the dolled up girls, prancing in high heels short skirts thick leggings and fat fat waist length winter coats. They spit in the streets, the subways, and they make me stare when they walk past. Me in my knit hat, thick scarf, and long baggy dark blue coat. I make no one stare, save for the color of my skin and texture of my hair.
There is a crescent moon, pale orange through the haze, gracing the sky tonight. I look at it and i remember all the places i've looked at it before. LA streets lined up in the cold, Frisco pavement on the way home, Oahu park with a blanket and a bottle, Big Island beaches chilly and desolate. So beautiful, all. When I add to that list my current dark beijing hutong, icy dark and bustling, nothing seems quite so bad.
Tally for today:
2 kaui 3 mao for a bag of 6 mandarin oranges.
I think that puts me at 95.6 kuai spent so far.
Not bad.
love&luz
Sunday, November 30, 2008
In memory.
My family is not a very religious one, nor are we beholden to many traditions. Holidays pass by with maybe a phone call or two, a dinner with the family members living closest, but no reunions or trans-America flights. We have never, in my remembering, had a large Thanksgiving dinner or a house piled high with relatives on Christmas morning. Most of us prefer a quiet celebration with those closest to us to a large, raucous party. In this respect, we are all remarkably similar. Reclusive and private though this may seem, in my mind it has always belied the fact that we are always in each others hearts, and no distance can separate us.
My mother has 5 brothers, and my father also 5 and 2 sisters, most of whom lived within a half an hour of each other in my childhood. There is no lack of family to go around- my life abounds with uncles in particular and two loving aunts. Visits to Portland (where mother and father met and married) were always full of rushing around trying to see all the family before I had to go home to LA. 10 uncles, 2 aunts, a great aunt and two grandmothers that you see twice a year will do that to your vacation. Even though we don't get together on holidays or birthdays, though all of our family members are not physically present, we all know we're together in spirit.
Now, as I mentioned in the above paragraph both of my parents come from large families. My grandmother on my mother's side came from Oklahoma, then moved to Portland with her four sisters and brother. I'm not sure what growing up with that many siblings would be like, let alone that many sisters, but I can only imagine that it would have been both difficult and rewarding. For her part, my grandmother came out of it with a fighting spirit, one that she passed on in a lesser portion to all of her children, and if i'm any indication, her grandchildren as well. I say in a lesser portion not to play down the saucy boldness we all seem to share, but rather out of reverence to my grandmother's unflinching, insurmountable moxy. The woman made things happen, she made things work. With 6 mouths to feed and husbands that were in and out of the picture, I suppose she had to. My grandmother was a woman you didn't cross, if you knew what was good for you. That being said, she made sure all of my uncles and my mother had what they needed growing up- they may have been poor, but had food, they had clothes. They had someone to drive down to the station and bail them out of jail after a failed underage cross country attempt or a fight with a police dog (see what i meant about fighting spirit?). She was a strong, tough woman. With 6 children and a constantly moving Aleutian lumberjack husband, she would have had to be.
I loved my grandmother. She would sass me, she would tease me and joke, and she was an ornery old lady. Wiley and belligerent, not to mention a reputed fox in her youth, she was a force to be reckoned with. I remember visiting her as a little girl, being subjected to the usual cheek cupping and hugging. My grandmother loved jewelry, and what most stands out in my memory, like many people's memories about their grandmothers, is her hands. Soft, wrinkled and covered in rings. Emerald rings were her favorite, and she had them in spades.
This post is for my grandmother. It's for my mother, it's for my uncles. I'm in China right now, and when i called home last night and the first thing my brother said was 'Mom's flown to Portland', i knew something was wrong. I wish i could be with all of you, but I can't. I wish I could be with you all to celebrate her life, but I'll be having my own celebration for her in China. I don't think there is any more appropriate way to honor my Grandmother's spirit than to keep on the way she would have- making things work in the best of times and the worst of times. Things are far from easy right now in China, but if I learned anything from my Grandmother, it was that you can make things work by sheer force of will. She may not have been an apple pie style grandmother at home in the kitchen all day, but she was her own woman, strong and resilient, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
My family doesn't celebrate the way most families do. We don't do large holidays, we don't like memorials either. We live in the vein of celebrating the life, not mourning the passing. I love you grandma. I'll miss you. You were beautiful, and you were strong. I hope that I can always be as strong and capable as you were. I know when things are difficult for me, I can think back to you, and know that you, like my own mother, knew how to make things work. This part of my spirit i can trace back to you.
All my love to all my family,
Jess
Friday, November 7, 2008
The jing.
Oh goodness.
Lets start off by giving a huge round of applause to Korean Air, which provided me with the most enjoyable 10 hour flight i've ever had. Not only did i have a row of 5 seats all to myself (ALL TO MYSELF), but i had two correctly vegan meals, a warm and large blanket, headphones provided, a travel kit including thick woolen socks, a toothbrush, and a mentholated (MENTHOLATED) eyemask graciously given me, free alcohol (only some wine to help me sleep, nothing like what went down that first flight to china...) but the bathroom was huge and included a full length mirror. Yay for Korean Air.
The layover in Seoul was grey and uneventful. I was accosted by some Christians in the Seoul airport, which was a little alarming. Besides that, the airport was much like both Beijing and Narita. More like Narita, cause the new portion of the Beijing airport is so large and cold feeling, but both Seoul and Narita feel cozier and have more bustling shops.
Getting to Beijing I took the new subway train from the airport into the city (so convenient) and then with a few transfers was being met by Scottie at the trainstation. We navigated through some seriously serious hutongs, and then found ourselves at his little home away from home. It's so beautiful. You walk into a courtyard through red double doors (which are standard in Beijing hutongs) in the middle of which grows and immense oak tree. The rooms all radiate off the courtyard, including a kitchen and two bathrooms. Theres Wifi. Theres heating. Theres lovely peace and quiet in the middle of Beijing. It's beautiful. I'm so pleased- theres even a rooftop patio!
Sigh. When i'm feeling more up to it i'll describe how the walls in the courtyard are covered in Indian-esque murals of various Goddesses and the rooms are filled with antique wood furniture (the owner, apparently, used to run an antique shop). I can't imagine a more lovely place to be staying.
Well, maybe if i could ship a few certain someones over from Hawaii, and set up a similar flat for my folks across the way, then i could. But then i wouldnt be making new lifelong friends and i'd be mired in the comfort of familiarity, so i suppose this is better anyway :)
miss you guys and love you
jess
Lets start off by giving a huge round of applause to Korean Air, which provided me with the most enjoyable 10 hour flight i've ever had. Not only did i have a row of 5 seats all to myself (ALL TO MYSELF), but i had two correctly vegan meals, a warm and large blanket, headphones provided, a travel kit including thick woolen socks, a toothbrush, and a mentholated (MENTHOLATED) eyemask graciously given me, free alcohol (only some wine to help me sleep, nothing like what went down that first flight to china...) but the bathroom was huge and included a full length mirror. Yay for Korean Air.
The layover in Seoul was grey and uneventful. I was accosted by some Christians in the Seoul airport, which was a little alarming. Besides that, the airport was much like both Beijing and Narita. More like Narita, cause the new portion of the Beijing airport is so large and cold feeling, but both Seoul and Narita feel cozier and have more bustling shops.
Getting to Beijing I took the new subway train from the airport into the city (so convenient) and then with a few transfers was being met by Scottie at the trainstation. We navigated through some seriously serious hutongs, and then found ourselves at his little home away from home. It's so beautiful. You walk into a courtyard through red double doors (which are standard in Beijing hutongs) in the middle of which grows and immense oak tree. The rooms all radiate off the courtyard, including a kitchen and two bathrooms. Theres Wifi. Theres heating. Theres lovely peace and quiet in the middle of Beijing. It's beautiful. I'm so pleased- theres even a rooftop patio!
Sigh. When i'm feeling more up to it i'll describe how the walls in the courtyard are covered in Indian-esque murals of various Goddesses and the rooms are filled with antique wood furniture (the owner, apparently, used to run an antique shop). I can't imagine a more lovely place to be staying.
Well, maybe if i could ship a few certain someones over from Hawaii, and set up a similar flat for my folks across the way, then i could. But then i wouldnt be making new lifelong friends and i'd be mired in the comfort of familiarity, so i suppose this is better anyway :)
miss you guys and love you
jess
Friday, August 8, 2008
mongolia revisited
I'm on the way to a beautiful tan.
The big island so far has been much more condusive to me being naked in the sunshine than oahu ever was. Maybe i should have hiked more on oahu and laid out in the koolaus, but still. its just so easy here. open door, lay down in hammock. smile at alea and jonah when they wake up. repeat.
its rather nice.
i wish i had pictures to show all of you from china and from the past few days, but alas and alack i wont be back to them until i get home next week sometime. youll just have to let your imaginations run away with you until then.
i dont think i ever fully explained the unexplainable beauty of Inner Mongolia to all of you, but suffice to say it left me utterly breathless.
We took the train up on Friday evening, an adventure in and of itself. I'm sure we all recall how much j.filth loves trains, and this train was no dissapointment. It was about a 10 or 11 hour train ride from Beijing to Inner Mongolia, and in order to pass time before bed Kalinda and I did flashcards for shots. Fun, and educational! I slept well that night.
Next morning we rolled on into Hohhot, the capital city of Inner Mongolia. From there it was straight out to the grasslands...just a note, i would be giving you all the Mandarin names of these places, but as previously mentioned I'm not on my own computer and the one I'm using doesn't have characters on it. Such a shame. Anyway, the grasslands. Sexy, alluring, rolling, grasslands. Home to sexy matou players and horsemen. We slept the night in a yurt after a day spent being shown various facets of traditional mongolian culture. some people went horse riding, while the vegan in me wouldn't allow me to do this and thusly i wandered the grasslands on my own. so lovely. a storm came upon me in the middle of my wanderings, and drenched me down to my bones. it was beautiful. the men were beautiful. they had long hair, and were mongolian. we smiled at each other across stretches of open plain. that is, until i pinned one to the ground and did a victory dance in the first drops of a grassland storm.
yeah, so i wrestled one of the herdsmen. they were doing some kind of demonstration showing traditional monoglian wrestling antics, at the summation of which i somehow ended up insisting on attempting. after much laughing, i was strapped into some kind of leather vest (i shudder to recall it..) and found myself squaring off with a small, wiry, sun kissed mongolian. We went two rounds, the first of which i was taken down in. The second of which i somehow managed to end up on top of my adversery, in the dust, victorious. i've got the pictures to prove it :)
having made a name for myself with the herdsmen, i was approached all night long with shots of the white pungent liquor synonymous with china in general and inner mongolia in particular. yay for getting toasted under the full moon on the mongolian grasslands.
The next day we awoke and feasted on rice porridge and various pickled vegetables. it made my day. The previous night's dinner had been typical Chinese fare (at least for me, the others had mutton), embellished with yak butter and yak milk tea. While it was exciting for everyone else, it held little interest for me- this is why the breakfast of rice porridge and pickled vegetables (a rarity in pastry and rice heavy beijing) made me so happy. then we hopped onto the bus to go explore Hohhot.
This post is becoming lengthy, so i think im going to take a nap and relate my exploits at a later date. love you all.
jess
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Re-Update
Accomplishments of the Day:
Waking Up.
Preparing breakfast of fresh pineapple, noni, bananas, cherries, oranges, jackfruit, cashew nut milk, and granola.
Getting out of the house and running errands in Hilo (yay farmers market!)
Picking a Coconut, hacking it open, and having a fresh drink.
Feasting on the meat of said fresh coconut.
Swimming naked in the rain.
Vegan Lunch at the 'natch (Natural Foods Market)
Sitting here typing this.
Accomplishments of the my Return:
Thursday
Arrived, after 12 hours of travel. I then had to pay 40 dollars for a cab to Justin's house, which is where all my stuff is living while im on big island. Could i have had someone pick me up? Yea. Did i? No. Was there any reason to this? No, i'm just weird and wasteful sometimes. After dropping my stuff in his room I myself dropped onto his bed and passed out for about 5 hours. I then met Alea, got an acai bowl, took a hot shower, and slept.
(Note: ALL my stuff consists of my laptop and my large green duffel. As in, thats everything I own. And that fact makes me smile a big minimalist smile.)
Friday
In all honesty, I don't remember Friday super well. I awoke, Alea and I had breakfast, then I think we slothed around for a while. We met up with B-rad later for some lunch and then pranced to first friday in Honolulu. No big, same 'ol same 'ol.
Saturday
Yo! Big Island day. Miss my early flight cause i don't think I have my ID with me...and then find out later after I've arrived it was in the bottom of my bag. Grrreat. Spent an extra hundred cause i missed my flight into Kona and had to buy a new ticket into the Hilo airport. Shrug. At least i landed...After this I rendevous with Kalinda and say goodbye to Alea (who flew in with me to visit with her lover man) We went to Kalinda's house and then down to the blacksand beach at the end of her street. Beautiful beach, right next to a fresh water spring and an old, abandoned, rusted sugar mill. It hurts its so pretty down there. Then we collected the rest of the camping crew, drove to some water falls, climbed said waterfalls, and headed to our camp site to play house.
Sunday
Woke up, packed up, bought a big cheap mexican breakfast, hit the farmers market, and then hit the dirt roads of Puna. We took a lovely morning in the natural steam caves, hit a different beach, and then stopped for the afternoon at another blacksand nude beach for the hippie drum circle. After this we showered off at some rest stop and then headed to Jah Pizza, this weekly free pizza/ drum circle night at one of the hippie communes. Lots of crazy hippies running around doing crazy hippie things. They made me join hands and 'Ohm' before we could eat. Cause theyre crazy hippies.
Monday
Once again, woke up. I don't know why i feel it's necessary to add this into each day, but i guess it's true since i did it...On Monday I think we did a combination of waterfalls, beaches, and...oh yes, hot ponds. We also saw lava, cause the big island has an active volcano and stuff. Then we slept.
It was fantastic, and punctuated with nakedness.
Tuesday
Woke up, beached it in the morning, injured my foot standing naked on the lava rock cliffs being pummeled by the waves, pranced around the volcano for a while, went off roading and met Alea at a green sand beach. Was kidnapped by Alea and her lover man and carted off to his two story rambling home in the Hawaiian countryside. Slept in a bed and took a hot shower- oh so good after days of camping.
I've gotten sleepy typing all of this, and obviously lazy with my descriptions. I swear, everything is full of beautiful fantastic adventure! I'm just worn out from all of it and therefore doing a poor job describing the vibrant luciousness that is my Big Island trip. You all should feel blessed that my ass is even sitting in front of a computer long enough to type this out when ive got all of big island beckoning me.
Love you, and i'll get at you about the last days in China next episode ;)
Love&luz
jess
Thursday, July 3, 2008
So much love!
So, today is a special day.
In fact it's a day like no other.
It's the day on which my mother's mom
Gave birth to my very own mother.
Happy birthday momma.
Everyone else go and tell your momma you love her, cause she no doubt deserves it.
I know mine does. I put her through a lot of nonesense over the years (jesus, i still do), but she loves me anyway. Yay for undying affection! And not only does she love me, but she's beautiful and charming and witty and understanding. How lucky am i?
Sorry for rubbing it in all your faces how awesome my mom is, but i just had to let you know. Yea, thats right, she IS better than your mom, and no you can't have her cause shes mine.
Adore you <3
jess
ps. don't forget to tell your mom how fantastic she is. sliding scales of one to ten are good for this (as long as you give her something like an 11).
In fact it's a day like no other.
It's the day on which my mother's mom
Gave birth to my very own mother.
Happy birthday momma.
Everyone else go and tell your momma you love her, cause she no doubt deserves it.
I know mine does. I put her through a lot of nonesense over the years (jesus, i still do), but she loves me anyway. Yay for undying affection! And not only does she love me, but she's beautiful and charming and witty and understanding. How lucky am i?
Sorry for rubbing it in all your faces how awesome my mom is, but i just had to let you know. Yea, thats right, she IS better than your mom, and no you can't have her cause shes mine.
Adore you <3
jess
ps. don't forget to tell your mom how fantastic she is. sliding scales of one to ten are good for this (as long as you give her something like an 11).
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Yeah, that was hot.
"The bus driver would like me to tell you all that he's selling beer for 5rmb a can."
It's 10:00am and I'm freshly out of a steaming hot shower. 15 minutes ago I arrived home, soaking wet, shoes sand encrusted, quite fragrant (somehow rainwater doesn't counteract the pungent aroma that characterizes all night dancing), and rather satisfied.
I spent last night at the intersection of the Great Wall and the Yellow Sea dancing until the sun came up beneath a canopy of thunder, lightening, and beautiful blessed rain. On a small courtyard of sand sandwiched between the wall and the sea and at the mercy of the storming Chinese sky, we 500 (give or take a few French girls) from all over the world pranced about as hard as you possibly can. At this point, if you haven't surmised this for yourself, I would like to say that last night was utterly and incomprehensibly fantastic.
Near Beijing University theres this place you can go for a really good pizza and a Draft Guinness. At this place, for the past 3 weeks or so, there have been fliers for an all night long beach party at the Great Wall for 200rmb (+/-30 dollars), including entry and roundtrip bus fare. Now, the words 'Great Wall' and 'Beach Party', when separated, hold little allure for me. To me the Great Wall equals hoards of tourists and after living on Oahu beach parties not held in the state of Hawaii don't sound very enticing. When inextricably combined, however, those two phrases become quite irresistable. So I, along with two lovely ladies named Kalinda and Any, bought some tickets. And a few Guinesses, but that doesn't really have bearing on the story at hand.
Our busride ended up being about 5 to 5 1/2 hours long, and absolutely fantastic. With the addition of the beer so thoughtfully supplied by our bus driver, the ride turned from dull and gruelling to lively and enjoyable (as a number of situations, when supplied with alchohol, are wont to do). As a nod to not only how small but also how vast our globe is, directly behind me was a guy celebrating his graduation from UCSB and my seat partner had just flown in from Paris. The bus itself was filled mostly with expats, and was oddly balanced in representation- in addition to our representation of rowdy americans, there were rowdy french, germans, australians, brits (who thankfully were not soulless tory scum), belgians, and spaniards. The bus was long, it was pleasant. We had drinking songs, my contribution to which was the drunken sailor song (of which i know quite a few verses). The best drinking song, however, erupted towards the end of the ride. It had no words, and only a tune. Somehow, everyone knew it. I don't think anyone had heard it before, and i'm not sure from whence it came, but it arrived none the less and persisted longer than any of the others. Yatta for that.
Arriving to find not only the Great Wall but also the stormy Yellow Sea was amazing. None of us partygoers had really known where we were going (or for that matter the length of the ride- in China people don't really like to tell you things and most of us had heard is was going to be about 2 hours), but the payoff was stunning. Lining the Wall were various food stands (of the Beijing street vendor variety), as well as beer and mixed drink stands. Adjacent to these a rather large stage stood on the sand, upon which DJs spun their wares from dusk till dawn. The juxtaposition of ancient grandeur and modern festivities was quite interesting. Down the beach from our stage one of the Wall's watchtowers jutted into the sea and further up traditional chinese homes formed a little cluster on the shore.
The night unfurled with lots of music, food, drinks, and fun. I haven't felt such a sense of comraderie and community since the last time I was on Oahu amongst close friends. The vibe of the festivities was extremely open and friendly, and was a balm to any irritations i've had towards humankind lately. Strongly reminiscent of the wholeness I feel in Hawaii, it was lovely. The night started strong with lots of dancing and carousing, and inexorably as the night began to turn closer to day people paired off and scattered across the shore near the water. Lightening had been gracing the sky with promises of rain that for a while seemed false, but around 2am the sky opened and let her bounty fall. Dancing with two beautiful french sisters in the rain next to Great Wall and the Yellow sea, seeing the crowd enthused by the rain rather than dissuaded, i couldnt help but feel the world grab me by the shoulders and yell, "snap the fuck out of it! dont you see the beauty?!"
And the rain fell steadily for the next two hours, the lightening grew heavier, the dancers more vibrantly ecstatic.
I climbed onto a bus at 5:00am, and made it home by 10.
love&luz
jessie
It's 10:00am and I'm freshly out of a steaming hot shower. 15 minutes ago I arrived home, soaking wet, shoes sand encrusted, quite fragrant (somehow rainwater doesn't counteract the pungent aroma that characterizes all night dancing), and rather satisfied.
I spent last night at the intersection of the Great Wall and the Yellow Sea dancing until the sun came up beneath a canopy of thunder, lightening, and beautiful blessed rain. On a small courtyard of sand sandwiched between the wall and the sea and at the mercy of the storming Chinese sky, we 500 (give or take a few French girls) from all over the world pranced about as hard as you possibly can. At this point, if you haven't surmised this for yourself, I would like to say that last night was utterly and incomprehensibly fantastic.
Near Beijing University theres this place you can go for a really good pizza and a Draft Guinness. At this place, for the past 3 weeks or so, there have been fliers for an all night long beach party at the Great Wall for 200rmb (+/-30 dollars), including entry and roundtrip bus fare. Now, the words 'Great Wall' and 'Beach Party', when separated, hold little allure for me. To me the Great Wall equals hoards of tourists and after living on Oahu beach parties not held in the state of Hawaii don't sound very enticing. When inextricably combined, however, those two phrases become quite irresistable. So I, along with two lovely ladies named Kalinda and Any, bought some tickets. And a few Guinesses, but that doesn't really have bearing on the story at hand.
Our busride ended up being about 5 to 5 1/2 hours long, and absolutely fantastic. With the addition of the beer so thoughtfully supplied by our bus driver, the ride turned from dull and gruelling to lively and enjoyable (as a number of situations, when supplied with alchohol, are wont to do). As a nod to not only how small but also how vast our globe is, directly behind me was a guy celebrating his graduation from UCSB and my seat partner had just flown in from Paris. The bus itself was filled mostly with expats, and was oddly balanced in representation- in addition to our representation of rowdy americans, there were rowdy french, germans, australians, brits (who thankfully were not soulless tory scum), belgians, and spaniards. The bus was long, it was pleasant. We had drinking songs, my contribution to which was the drunken sailor song (of which i know quite a few verses). The best drinking song, however, erupted towards the end of the ride. It had no words, and only a tune. Somehow, everyone knew it. I don't think anyone had heard it before, and i'm not sure from whence it came, but it arrived none the less and persisted longer than any of the others. Yatta for that.
Arriving to find not only the Great Wall but also the stormy Yellow Sea was amazing. None of us partygoers had really known where we were going (or for that matter the length of the ride- in China people don't really like to tell you things and most of us had heard is was going to be about 2 hours), but the payoff was stunning. Lining the Wall were various food stands (of the Beijing street vendor variety), as well as beer and mixed drink stands. Adjacent to these a rather large stage stood on the sand, upon which DJs spun their wares from dusk till dawn. The juxtaposition of ancient grandeur and modern festivities was quite interesting. Down the beach from our stage one of the Wall's watchtowers jutted into the sea and further up traditional chinese homes formed a little cluster on the shore.
The night unfurled with lots of music, food, drinks, and fun. I haven't felt such a sense of comraderie and community since the last time I was on Oahu amongst close friends. The vibe of the festivities was extremely open and friendly, and was a balm to any irritations i've had towards humankind lately. Strongly reminiscent of the wholeness I feel in Hawaii, it was lovely. The night started strong with lots of dancing and carousing, and inexorably as the night began to turn closer to day people paired off and scattered across the shore near the water. Lightening had been gracing the sky with promises of rain that for a while seemed false, but around 2am the sky opened and let her bounty fall. Dancing with two beautiful french sisters in the rain next to Great Wall and the Yellow sea, seeing the crowd enthused by the rain rather than dissuaded, i couldnt help but feel the world grab me by the shoulders and yell, "snap the fuck out of it! dont you see the beauty?!"
And the rain fell steadily for the next two hours, the lightening grew heavier, the dancers more vibrantly ecstatic.
I climbed onto a bus at 5:00am, and made it home by 10.
love&luz
jessie
Friday, June 20, 2008
Make Love!
I want to take a moment today to express just how proud I am of my home state.
With LA's Pride just a couple of weeks in the past and San Francisco's Pride fast approaching, I think it's only fitting that a few days ago equality rang clear in the vows of couples up and down my golden state. I'm fairly confident that everyone that takes the time to read this blog needs no preaching to on the subject of gay marriage, so let's all take a few minutes together to be thankful and renew our faith in human equality. It really touched me a few weeks ago when I read that gay marriage had been legalized, and it made me absolutely overjoyed to hear that it was, of all places, in lovely California.
Yay for love that is love. Yay for equality and understanding and celebrations. Is heterosexual love any different from homosexual love? What is it that makes a marriage a marriage? Is it the ability of the couple to procreate, is it one penis and one vagina, is it the perpetuation of heteronormative behavior? Marriage isnt about sex, it's about emotion and understanding. I have never been able to understand why certain people want to focus on the kind of sex a married couple has instead of the strength and tenacity of their union. Preserving and strengthening family is something I'm all for, but as for separating and labeling the kinds of sex in allowed in a 'marriage', i'm sorry but i'll have to pass. The government can issue all of the little slips of paper it wants, but without the love of those whose names it bears, that piece of paper is meaningless. Conservative heterosexuals cannot hold the monopoly on sanctioned love forever. It's taken over 200 years, but Separation of Church and State is finally becoming less bark and more bite. Those key words are so often left to collect dust.
Do we remember that Separate is not Equal? Today, we do.
The battle is not over, but this victory tastes divine. Now we've just got to keep on working to spread equality and love to all corners of our country, of our world. Like one big blanket of love, together we can bundle the world up and soothe our respective wounds.
Today I'm going to celebrate the beauty that is pulic recognition of private love. If you're lucky enough to be in SF, go out next week and party a little bit for me. If you're in Cali at all, I envy you. I love all you guys.
Soundtrack: God-dess and She JaDa
With LA's Pride just a couple of weeks in the past and San Francisco's Pride fast approaching, I think it's only fitting that a few days ago equality rang clear in the vows of couples up and down my golden state. I'm fairly confident that everyone that takes the time to read this blog needs no preaching to on the subject of gay marriage, so let's all take a few minutes together to be thankful and renew our faith in human equality. It really touched me a few weeks ago when I read that gay marriage had been legalized, and it made me absolutely overjoyed to hear that it was, of all places, in lovely California.
Yay for love that is love. Yay for equality and understanding and celebrations. Is heterosexual love any different from homosexual love? What is it that makes a marriage a marriage? Is it the ability of the couple to procreate, is it one penis and one vagina, is it the perpetuation of heteronormative behavior? Marriage isnt about sex, it's about emotion and understanding. I have never been able to understand why certain people want to focus on the kind of sex a married couple has instead of the strength and tenacity of their union. Preserving and strengthening family is something I'm all for, but as for separating and labeling the kinds of sex in allowed in a 'marriage', i'm sorry but i'll have to pass. The government can issue all of the little slips of paper it wants, but without the love of those whose names it bears, that piece of paper is meaningless. Conservative heterosexuals cannot hold the monopoly on sanctioned love forever. It's taken over 200 years, but Separation of Church and State is finally becoming less bark and more bite. Those key words are so often left to collect dust.
Do we remember that Separate is not Equal? Today, we do.
The battle is not over, but this victory tastes divine. Now we've just got to keep on working to spread equality and love to all corners of our country, of our world. Like one big blanket of love, together we can bundle the world up and soothe our respective wounds.
Today I'm going to celebrate the beauty that is pulic recognition of private love. If you're lucky enough to be in SF, go out next week and party a little bit for me. If you're in Cali at all, I envy you. I love all you guys.
Soundtrack: God-dess and She JaDa
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Look ma, no medicine!
So today I'm finally feeling better. In the world of jessie, a four day recovery is nothing short of a miracle.
As is usual when i come down with something, my friends and family urge me to either go see the doctor or go buy some medicine. I, of course, never do either of these things. I prefer to let me body heal itself naturally. Thats just how I do. If my body can surmount an illness using only it's own defenses, then after that illness passes it's that much stronger. Plus I don't really trust all those medicines and the odd things they have in them...but that's a different tangent. And of course, it's not the same for everyone. We've all got different opinions and different bodies :)
So, for the past three days I've been languishing in my congestion, feeling incrementally better each day. Last night came around and I went off to work for a couple hours, and when this morning dawned I was feeling much better if not quite one hundred percent whole. yatta!
So, of course, I'm taking today as my last day off from school to get back into my routine. Some light stretching, and some serious studying, and by the time tomorrow comes around I should be ready to get back into the swing of things.
Thank you guys for your love and well wishes :) Soon we'll be back to posts that have more substance that "OMG I'm SICK *whine*"
I promise!
love&luz
jessie
As is usual when i come down with something, my friends and family urge me to either go see the doctor or go buy some medicine. I, of course, never do either of these things. I prefer to let me body heal itself naturally. Thats just how I do. If my body can surmount an illness using only it's own defenses, then after that illness passes it's that much stronger. Plus I don't really trust all those medicines and the odd things they have in them...but that's a different tangent. And of course, it's not the same for everyone. We've all got different opinions and different bodies :)
So, for the past three days I've been languishing in my congestion, feeling incrementally better each day. Last night came around and I went off to work for a couple hours, and when this morning dawned I was feeling much better if not quite one hundred percent whole. yatta!
So, of course, I'm taking today as my last day off from school to get back into my routine. Some light stretching, and some serious studying, and by the time tomorrow comes around I should be ready to get back into the swing of things.
Thank you guys for your love and well wishes :) Soon we'll be back to posts that have more substance that "OMG I'm SICK *whine*"
I promise!
love&luz
jessie
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wicked ill, homegirl.
This post comes to you courtesy of my sick bed.
I'm sprawled out right now, blinds drawn and windows closed, my only companions a large cup of hot soymilk and waaay too many used tissues.
Gross.
So I thought I'd take a little time in between naps to keep you guys up to date on whats going down in Chinatown (....haha, get it?).
I've been pretty busy the last few days and as such haven't had any time to get on over here and be charming and witty. Well, I guess its more like try to be charming and witty, right? I think the last actual post was about refrigerators and my crazy hippy opinions on them, so i think i'll give this post a little more mass appeal.
I got my first actual chinese foot massage yesterday. I've since decided I'm not ever going to leave China, I'm just going to stay here and blow all my money on massages. 6 months from now I'll probably be on the street panhandling just so i can get a fix- me love you long time baby. Now, off colour jokes aside, it really was fantastic- the thing about this whole foot massage business was that even though its called a 'foot massage' they start out by working on your neck and back to loosen you up. Feet in a steaming wood tub full of tea, my back got the works before the real foot massage even started. Neck, back, shoulders, arms, even some slight spinal adjustment. And they did that thing with the glass cups and the fire. Talk about fantastic. I will definately be back for more. And more, and some more after that. (Thats what she said! haha, ha.)
On to the second bit of fantasticness. Now, I know this is going to sound a little chauvinistic, but one of the best parts was how extremely attractive the masseurs were. I mean, as if having my muscles kneaded and drummed upon wasn't nice enough, i got to be kneaded and drummed upon by an incredibly attractive asian man. Big fat (or, rather, cut and trim) yay for that. If only he had been vegan...
Oh, what? How much was it? Yea. It converts to something like 7 dollars.
For an hour and a half.
Yatta!
And on that note, im going to go curl up in a fetal position on my shower floor and waste copious amounts of hot water before I pass out (again) from congestion and the aches. Hopefully this knowledge of my misery will temper any jealousy about the ridiculous fantasticity of my foot massage access, unless of course you're just being jealous of my shower floor :)
love&luz
ill jessie
I'm sprawled out right now, blinds drawn and windows closed, my only companions a large cup of hot soymilk and waaay too many used tissues.
Gross.
So I thought I'd take a little time in between naps to keep you guys up to date on whats going down in Chinatown (....haha, get it?).
I've been pretty busy the last few days and as such haven't had any time to get on over here and be charming and witty. Well, I guess its more like try to be charming and witty, right? I think the last actual post was about refrigerators and my crazy hippy opinions on them, so i think i'll give this post a little more mass appeal.
I got my first actual chinese foot massage yesterday. I've since decided I'm not ever going to leave China, I'm just going to stay here and blow all my money on massages. 6 months from now I'll probably be on the street panhandling just so i can get a fix- me love you long time baby. Now, off colour jokes aside, it really was fantastic- the thing about this whole foot massage business was that even though its called a 'foot massage' they start out by working on your neck and back to loosen you up. Feet in a steaming wood tub full of tea, my back got the works before the real foot massage even started. Neck, back, shoulders, arms, even some slight spinal adjustment. And they did that thing with the glass cups and the fire. Talk about fantastic. I will definately be back for more. And more, and some more after that. (Thats what she said! haha, ha.)
On to the second bit of fantasticness. Now, I know this is going to sound a little chauvinistic, but one of the best parts was how extremely attractive the masseurs were. I mean, as if having my muscles kneaded and drummed upon wasn't nice enough, i got to be kneaded and drummed upon by an incredibly attractive asian man. Big fat (or, rather, cut and trim) yay for that. If only he had been vegan...
Oh, what? How much was it? Yea. It converts to something like 7 dollars.
For an hour and a half.
Yatta!
And on that note, im going to go curl up in a fetal position on my shower floor and waste copious amounts of hot water before I pass out (again) from congestion and the aches. Hopefully this knowledge of my misery will temper any jealousy about the ridiculous fantasticity of my foot massage access, unless of course you're just being jealous of my shower floor :)
love&luz
ill jessie
Friday, June 13, 2008
like goodness falling from the sky!
It's pouring right now in Beijing.
There is thunder, there is lightning.
It's just all so damn exciting!
There are few things that renew my faith in the world.
Rainstorms are one of them.
I went outside and pranced in it until i was soaked through and violently shivering.
The natives look at me like i was crazy. Which i was. Crazy rain dancing lady. They loved it.
You know they did.
You love it too.
<3<3
There is thunder, there is lightning.
It's just all so damn exciting!
There are few things that renew my faith in the world.
Rainstorms are one of them.
I went outside and pranced in it until i was soaked through and violently shivering.
The natives look at me like i was crazy. Which i was. Crazy rain dancing lady. They loved it.
You know they did.
You love it too.
<3<3
Friday, June 6, 2008
Minidate
Our blog post today comes courtesy of The Dragon Boat Festival.
It was quite the nice treat to wake up friday morning and walk to class only to realize that there was no class to be had. yahtzee!
Since I owe my newly found free time to said festival [it having freed up my friday for study time and opened weekend time for leisure], i suppose i should take a moment to talk about it. What is the dragon boat festival, you wonder? Well, first off, it's today, Sunday June 8th. It's a holiday whose festivites take place mostly in Shanghai where, amongst various other festive things, they race dragon boats. Why? I don't know. I've gotten lots of answers to this question, mostly pertaining to a poet who, a long long time ago, tried to warn the emporer about dangers to the country but, when ignored, threw himself into the river and drowned. Kind of a downer of a holiday, except for the whole no class part. That part rocks.
Whats going on in Beijing besides holidays? Lots more construction. The kind that starts outside my window at about 2 in the morning and continous, uninterrupted, till about 2 in the afternoon. Yay for that.
What else? Well, I'm hungry. I went out thursday night with Mongolian homeboy who apparently has a plan to open a restaurant with lots of vegan options. Whether he is genuinely interested in presenting healthier, kinder, enviornmentally concious food or is just attempting to get into my pants through my 'religion' (as harumi would call it), i don't know. It really could be either. Or both. Or neither, for that matter.
I digress.
Mongolian homeboy is a nice guy, but the majority of our conversations take place in english [with some chinese interspersed]. This is not optimal for the improvement of my Chinese, however, and next time i see him im going to tell him that we have to speak more chinese. Which actually might be today, as he wants me to go and buy his car with him, and eat zongzi, which are sticky rice triangle things wrapped in bamboo leaves and filled with savory meat or sweet fillings. Theyre really, really good, and part of the whole dragon boat festival thing. Not that people dont eat them everyday, which they do. Why theyre special festival food if they are sold everyday in the cafeteria anyway, i'm not really sure, but who cares cause theyre tasty. Back to the Mongol and his friends. I'm a pretty firm believer in the idea that you are who you surround yourself with, you know, the whole 'lie down with dogs' thing. The mongolians i've befriended are all very sweet and very motivated (and talented- we all watched the matou playing video from a few posts ago, right?) so it makes me happy to have found positive friends. In fact, all of China so far has been really good to me, but thats going to take a long time to detail and will be mused upon at a later date.
love you guys!
It was quite the nice treat to wake up friday morning and walk to class only to realize that there was no class to be had. yahtzee!
Since I owe my newly found free time to said festival [it having freed up my friday for study time and opened weekend time for leisure], i suppose i should take a moment to talk about it. What is the dragon boat festival, you wonder? Well, first off, it's today, Sunday June 8th. It's a holiday whose festivites take place mostly in Shanghai where, amongst various other festive things, they race dragon boats. Why? I don't know. I've gotten lots of answers to this question, mostly pertaining to a poet who, a long long time ago, tried to warn the emporer about dangers to the country but, when ignored, threw himself into the river and drowned. Kind of a downer of a holiday, except for the whole no class part. That part rocks.
Whats going on in Beijing besides holidays? Lots more construction. The kind that starts outside my window at about 2 in the morning and continous, uninterrupted, till about 2 in the afternoon. Yay for that.
What else? Well, I'm hungry. I went out thursday night with Mongolian homeboy who apparently has a plan to open a restaurant with lots of vegan options. Whether he is genuinely interested in presenting healthier, kinder, enviornmentally concious food or is just attempting to get into my pants through my 'religion' (as harumi would call it), i don't know. It really could be either. Or both. Or neither, for that matter.
I digress.
Mongolian homeboy is a nice guy, but the majority of our conversations take place in english [with some chinese interspersed]. This is not optimal for the improvement of my Chinese, however, and next time i see him im going to tell him that we have to speak more chinese. Which actually might be today, as he wants me to go and buy his car with him, and eat zongzi, which are sticky rice triangle things wrapped in bamboo leaves and filled with savory meat or sweet fillings. Theyre really, really good, and part of the whole dragon boat festival thing. Not that people dont eat them everyday, which they do. Why theyre special festival food if they are sold everyday in the cafeteria anyway, i'm not really sure, but who cares cause theyre tasty. Back to the Mongol and his friends. I'm a pretty firm believer in the idea that you are who you surround yourself with, you know, the whole 'lie down with dogs' thing. The mongolians i've befriended are all very sweet and very motivated (and talented- we all watched the matou playing video from a few posts ago, right?) so it makes me happy to have found positive friends. In fact, all of China so far has been really good to me, but thats going to take a long time to detail and will be mused upon at a later date.
love you guys!
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